Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
