I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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