Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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