everyone is single if you try hard enough
honey bunches of taint.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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