Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
