it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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