Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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