Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize