I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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