Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
