this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
