I have demons in me.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
