Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
