I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
