im drinking this country out of the recession.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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