I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
