didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
My friends, they love my intelligence
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Randomize
