Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
How's work?
Spinning.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
