Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
