I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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