nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
