we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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