The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I don't deserve a penis
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
