I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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