I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
