she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
i out mim tonsoeep
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