my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
