grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Randomize
