Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
