Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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