I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
