hell yes lets make some ravioli
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
