Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
