I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
