im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
