Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
