Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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