how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Dick very happy bro
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
