Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
