somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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