This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
