It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
No stitches, just platelets and will power
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
