after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
