16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
