They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
My vagina just recognized that song.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
