Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
they're like a gay fantastic four
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Randomize
