no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Hippo gnu deer
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
