I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
