if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
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