and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize