When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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