Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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