Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
