At least make sure they are 18
Why
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
im holly from the hills drunk
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
