Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
what day is it and did you see me today?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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