it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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