Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
