I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
