He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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