I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
